I have not blogged in roughly a year. My life has been crazy. Going to school, having clinicals in the evening, and working nights leaves me pretty tired. I just wanted to get some thoughts out on "paper" to look back on in the future. Thoughts going through my mind now so I that I can look back and say, "hey girl! Look what you did! You made it. In what may have seemed like the hardest years of your life, you made it out in one peice. You, my friend, should know by now that you can do anything you put your heart and mind to."
My spring semester did not go as I had planned. I rocked my OB/PEDS class. My Med Surg 3 class was not so spectacular. I ended up having to drop it and retake it this summer. My experience this summer has been so much different than last semester. Class is still just as difficult, but I am giving it all I have. My clinicals have been a little more challenging. The instructor really pushes us (always on our cases about our care plans). At first it annoyed me, but now I am okay with it. She is only making me better.
Last November I thought I had appendicitis. My mom took me to the ER. They said it wasn't appendicitis, but it looked like my ovary was a little enlarged with some fluid around it. My instructions were to follow up with my OB/GYN. My doctor did an ultrasound, only to find that my ovary wasn't "a little enlarged". It was the size of my fist (also the same size as my uterus). Fast forward 4 months, I ended up having the cyst removed through laproscopic surgery. My recovery didn't go as planned, I was miserable for about 3 weeks instead of the "3-5 days" my doctor said it would take. Thank goodness for my Chiropractor, who was able to adjust my abdominal muscles and my hips. The pain went away instantly.
My heart still aches for children of our own. My doctor told me at my post surgery appointment that I have endometriosis, so my chances aren't very good. If we go ahead with more treatments, it will have to be injectable medication paired with insemination. The injectable medication is really expensive. We aren't sure if that is something we want to do or not. My only other option is IVF, and we don't want to risk spending over 10 grand on a gamble.
It hurts my heart and spirit to potentially be slamming the door (and locking it) on that chapter of life. We could use some prayers about what our next step should be. Did we just say enough is enough right now? Or do we try one more round of insemination with the injectable medicines?
I was at clinicals tonight, walking to the cafeteria for our dinner break, and I suddenly got this sharp pain in my lower abdomen. I was hoping that it would just go away if I emptied my bladder. Tried that, only to find that it got worse. I hurt to sit and it hurt to stand. At that time, my anxiety started kicking in and I started having chest pain. My classmates, God love them, were really concerned and started assessing me right there in the cafeteria (not a physical, but verbal). One offered to take a clinical miss and drive me to the emergency department near my town. Thankfully, mom came to the rescue again and picked me up at school to take me to the ED. My vital signs were all good at the hospital. My EKG looked okay. They are sending a urine sample for culture to rule out a nasty UTI. After questions and a couple abdominal palpations, they deemed that I "probably" had a cyst rupture. There was nobody there to do an ultrasound to confirm, but I a supposed to follow up with my OB/GYN as soon as possible.
Good gravy, I need a vacation.Luckily, that is coming up in a few weeks! I cannot wait to get away for a week to relax and see new sights. The only thing standing in my way is 1 test and 1 final. Prayers for a successful end of the semester for me and for improved health!
