Bundle of Nerves

This month will be my 7th determining ultrasound. You would think that having done this 6 times prior I would be cool as a cucumber. This ultrasound just shows how many follicles have responded to the fertility medicine.

My body has ALWAYS responded well to the medications. There is no reason for me to think anything different would be seen tomorrow...except that I am on a new medicine.

I know that there is nothing I can do to for this month to be "the month". But I can't stop worrying. I desperately want to be able to relax and just enjoy life. Oh how I wish I could go back to my college and early 20's state of mind. I didn't worry about stuff. I just somehow knew that everything would be okay; and if it wasn't, that eventually everything would be.

I have been praying all day and last night for peace of mind and for the strength to get through this. Please pray for me.

He loves me!

♡♥♡♥He loves me. He really loves me! Now I have proof!♡♥♡♥

Secret Sidekicks

Where I work, all the staff have a "Secret Sidekick." All of our names get put into a bowl at the beginning of the year and we draw a name out. Each person fills out an information sheet of things they like or things to pray about for them. Last year, we had the same "Secret Sidekick" for the whole school year. This year, we are switching half-way through. So next week is the big reveal.

While it is fun to try to guess who has your name, a lot of people are in the dark about who has them. I have no idea who has me, but they are AWESOME! They leave me notes every now and then to encourage me and let me know they are praying for me. I have received a huge crossword puzzle book, a huge book of word searches, and candy. Tonight at work, as I was getting ready to leave, I went to my classroom to gather my belongings.

There on my desk was just what I have been craving! CHOCOLATE! Well, chocolate covered pretzels to be exact. The best part is that they were gluten free! I am so lucky to have a S.S. that is sensitive to my new dietary needs/restrictions. I try to share my snacks with my students, but these are going to be just for me.

Thanks Secret Sidekick for the yummy treat!

1.2.3.

Well I am three days into my journey of a gluten free lifestyle. It has been easier than I thought it would. While I  don't typically eat breakfast (at least an honest meal), I have been wanting a McGriddle for some reason.

I have successfully navigated my way through dinner at two different restaurants. Nothing seemed to tempt me. The hardest part has been finding a good, satisfying snack for late afternoon.

Tomorrow I hope to get some prepared gluten free food at T@rget and then some at another store which will double a coupon or two.

Abra Cadabra! Poof! Be gone!

This morning marks the start of another month on the infertility journey. Well, actually Sunday marked the beginning; today I had my baseline ultrasound. There hasn't been much sleep on my part since Sunday.

I got to my appointment this morning and was a bundle of nerves. The nurse told me which doctor I would be seeing and it was a surprise to me. Not the one I was told over the phone when I had scheduled. This wasn't a huge deal, but the "substitute doctor" hasn't been the most friendly or talkative to me. He has always come in, said hello, done the exam, and walked out.

This morning, he came in with a resident. She started the ultrasound, but seemed to not be doing a good job based on the fact that he asked her to let him do it less than 60 seconds into it. He said my lining looked good. Then he looked at my left ovary. I could tell right away it was clear.

The moment of truth was finally at hand. We would find out if the month of torture on birth control pills had done its job...was my cyst gone? I blurted out loud, "I pray to God this cyst is gone because that birth control sucked. I not doing that again!" He said, "Well you better be glad you took it because as bad as it was for you, you avoided surgery!" (Side note: I was not aware that had the cyst been there still, surgery was going to be the next step.) As he said that I turned my head to see the monitor. On the screen I could see my ovary. Praise the Lord! It was as clean as a whistle!

I was about to cry, I was so happy. We are going to do IUI again this month, but with a little tweak. Instead of Clomid, I am using Letrozole. We had used Clomid for 10 or 11 rounds (I lost track). It can form cysts on ovaries if used too much. This pill is not FDA approved for use in infertility treatments. It is supposed to be usd to treat postmenopausal women with breast cancer. More about this medicine in a future post.

Tonight I am going to bed excited that I cyst free and back on the "wagon" toward hopefully becoming a mother.