UPS Delivery

So this just came.

3 oral medications.
3 injections.
1 suppository.

3 types of syringes.
3 additional gauges of needles.

All overwhelming.

11 days down. 10 to go.

I am officially more than halfway done with my active pills of my birth control. I have only been on birth control pills one other month in my life and they were a different brand. I have no idea how my body is supposed to react to them. So far, they seem to make me even more tired than I usually am (I didn't realize that was possible). I have had a few headaches. My sinuses are really stuffy, which in turn make my eyes feel like I could cry at any moment. I am a little more emotional than I usually am, just in that I want to cry all the time. I don't know if this is common or not, but I am ready for it to be done. Also, I felt so insanely hungry the first 4 days I started the pills. I could not get enough food in my gullet. End result = 2 pounds gained.

I don't really know what is coming down the pipes for me yet as far as treatment is concerned. I will go I'm for some blood work at the end of next week and then I guess wait to hear from the doctor when he gets my results as well as my donor's results. I imagine I will start my leuprolide acetate injections on April 2nd. That will last 2 weeks (I think). I got notification from CVS Specialty that my medications have been shipped and I am supposed to receive them tomorrow.

Can I get an Amen for having great medical insurance (at least prescription coverage)?! I realize that my medication protocol is very different from my donor. I imagine her meds cost between 3-5 thousand (these costs are built into the cost, so I have no idea how much they actually are). My meds are only costing me $152! Hallelujah! Cash price is somewhere around $3000. I honestly don't know how people without infertility coverage do it. I can't afford the cost of this donor cycle anyway. Have I mentioned my mother-in-law is a blessing? Not to say my own mother isn't a blessing, she has blessed monetarily us with other endeavors. Scott and I are doubly blessed with such strong, supportive women as mothers.

Sorry, this post is getting away from me. I know I haven't communicated much on here lately, but just wanted to let you know the proverbial plane is still in the air headed toward our destination!

One down. 20 to go.

We officially are underway with our IVF protocol. Today my donor and I started our birth control pills. We just take these for 21 days and then the fun begins. I will be seen by the doctor at the end of the month. Not sure what all will take place at that visit. I am hoping it is just blood work and not an ultrasound.

While I am having that done, my donor will be getting a lot of blood work done either the same day or the day before. Her blood work is much more important than mine right now. She has some federally mandated tests that have to be completed within 30 days prior to our egg retrieval.

We are paying for successful weaning for her and her little one. Also, for no side effects with the use of the birth control for either of us.

Ladies and Gentlemen, We have been cleared for take off

The runway is clear for take off for my donor and I! I started my cycle yesterday and in a "shocking" turn of events, so did my donor. After letting the doctor know that I was on day one, they called me back about when the doctor wants to see me and to give me the go ahead to start the birth control protocol Sunday. The nurse called me this morning to tell me that my donor started yesterday as well. She told me other info about when she was getting blood work done and such (but I really don't remember what she said as the phone call woke me).

It is absolutely CRAZY how fast things will go from here. I can't really wrap my mind around it. The one thing I need to keep telling myself is to just stay calm. That God has brought me this far, and He will see me through to the end. He is in control. There are times when I think maybe we shouldn't be doing this whole thing, but I quickly realize that those doubts creep in when I am stressed and anxious and want to control things that are out of my control. Now, there are so many pieces of the puzzle working perfectly together that make me think this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing and exactly at the right time.

Last post I listed a laundry list of prayer requests for us during this upcoming 5-6 weeks. Those requests stay the same. One of them was about finances for the medication. Our donor let me know about a week ago that she was not able to get the Lupron covered by her insurance, and that we would have to pay for it. No big deal, we were prepared to have to do such. What I wasn't prepared for was the price that she had been quoted. It was going to be anywhere from $1500-7400 just for that one med. Fast-forward to yesterday, while on the phone with the doctors office I mentioned this situation to the secretary. She told me that she would look into it, because that price seemed very high. Prayers were answered, because she called me back later to tell me she was able to find a pharmacy that would fill it and ship it to my donor for under $500. Thank the Lord!

While her Lupron prayers were answered, I am still waiting to hear from my pharmacy to get the price for all my meds. This one is going to hurt! Praying, praying, praying that it is less than $900.

My donor had a prayer request as well. Can we all pray for her little one? That they adapt quickly to being completely eliminated from nursing? Her little is kind of struggling with it right now, and once she starts her birth control her supply will be finished.

Thanks everyone for the prayers and support! Keep it coming.

Holding Pattern

Have you ever planned a vacation? You have all your bags packed, you get to the airport. Things just go swimmingly. Bag check and security are a breeze. You board the plane. The plane pulls back from the gate and starts taxiing towards a runway.

Your heart may start beating a bit faster in anticipation. Then the captain comes on the speaker saying the flight pattern is full. We are in line for take off. There are several planes ahead of you in the queue. During this time, you are just kind of...existing. The attendants are not able to get you a beverage. You have to have your electronics turned off and stowed away. Your tray table must be put up and your seat needs to be in its full, upright position. Pretty much all you can do is try to sleep, talk to your neighbor (if you are that kind of person), or try to stare put the window. If you are an anxious flyer, this would be the time you may find yourself holding your breath or silently saying a prayer.

That is where I am at right now with my IVF journey. In the holding pattern. Just waiting as each day passes, waiting for the go ahead from the flight tower. For my journey, the green light for the process to begin will be given any day now. We are just waiting for our bodies to do their thing. Once we both have started our cycles, the doctor will tell us when to start our birth control.

This is getting to be very surreal to me. I have waited so long for this whole journey to a baby to be done. Now that it potentially will come to a head in roughly nine months, I can't wrap my head around it. I have prayed so long, and so much that my prayers have pretty much become silent. It is almost so much like stream of consciousness thinking for me, that sometimes it feels like I am not even praying about it anymore. God knows my heart. My desire hasn't changed.

As I was reminded in a little note from a friend from church, God hears me. He hasn't forgotten. I just need to keep faith and have hope.

If any of you are wondering, here is how you can help us with prayer:
-pray that my donor and I continue to be synced.
-her hormones aren't too hard on her (I have taken hormones before, so I kind of know what to expect). And that our support systems around us don't take to heart any mean/nasty/out of character thing we may say or do.
-that my meds don't cost more than we are able to afford (even with prescription coverage, I am worried about the Lupron).
-when the time comes for all blood work, it will go swimmingly. That it will make it to the proper labs in the condition it is supposed to arrive in, on the timeframe it is supposed to arrive in.
-for my donor's family. She is going to have to spend some time apart from her husband. Pray that her little one feels no extra stress from this experience.
-wisdom for my doctor. That he leans in on God in helping to create our perfect protocol and timeframe. He is a man of faith, I just pray that he puts some of his ego aside and listens to the voice of God.
-for the perfect eggs to be collected and the perfect sperm to be singled out to combine to make the most perfect embryos for Scott and I.

Lastly, pray for peace. Overwhelming peace and confidence for all involved. Peace that we have made the right decision, are with the right doctor, are having this done in the most perfect month.