Torn Inside

This week I had an emotional breakdown at work. I was talking with one of the sweetest coworkers and I just couldn't take it anymore. My coworker and I spoke for a few minutes and she gave me some of the best input I could have asked for. It was just what I needed at just the right time.

There have been many times I have questioned whether or not I should even have this blog, let alone discuss my personal life so intimately. To open up and be so vulnerable is not something I am comfortable doing in person. I don't talk much; I get too self-conscious. There is something cathartic about writing out my feelings on here.

Back to my point...my coworker told me that this could be God's way of using me. I finally got it. I don't like hate writing. I have never been able to journal, but blogging comes so easy to me. I know that I may not be the best writer, but I don't care. I am doing this for me. When I write on here, it opens up space in my mind; I am able to move on more easily from any trials I have had. I realize I do not have a huge following and that is fine with me. Right now, the essence of people that read this are family, friends and co-workers (I think).

People don't talk much about infertility in public. I don't think that it needs to be a secret. When Scott and I first started having a lot of trouble conceiving, I didn't talk about it. I looked online for support groups and websites that could help me. Sadly, I couldn't find any that were really helpful. My goal is twofold for this blog: 1) To have a place for me to have my thoughts recorded so that I can look back on where we have come from and how far we have gone and 2) To have a place where other women or couples can read about struggles with conceiving and know that they are not alone.