One Week In

So I am one week into the dreaded two week wait. Last week I was up late and then up and out the door to the doctor's office, long before the sun was up...every single day but Friday. That schedule, coupled with school, work, and emotional wear and tear had left me exhausted. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. I have recovered mentally and emotionally but I CANNOT recover physically. Each day I seem to get more and more tired.

I rest as much as I possibly can. I take one or two naps a day and sleep a solid 6-9 hours a night. Maybe my problem is that I am resting TOO much and not moving enough. Highly likely, but I just like to think that I am not resting enough.

I am trying to be optimistic while remaining a realist. There have been some bodily function that are strange going on (but I am trying not to look into it too much). I fee like I am either starving or I have zero appetite, no in between. Things sound good and then when I make them or go to eat them, I have no interest in eating them. Like last night at midnight, I all of a sudden wanted apple and cabbage salad. Scott opened the jar for me I took two small bites and was immediately grossed out by it, yet today I ate almost a whole cup of it in one sitting.

I sure hope these are good things, but don't want to get too excited. I wish tomorrow was the 18th so I could get an answer, yet I don't want the 18th to come because I can't handle hearing disappointing news. Prayers would be appreciated! Have a good end of your work week!

Next Steps

In our efforts to have a baby this past week or so, I have been trying to keep my family updated with the pertinents. I shared with them that the doctor suggested using donor eggs should we not fall pregnant this month. I jokingly sent a text to my mom, siblings, and brother-in-law requesting any extra eggs they have lying around. My brother responded with "We have a dozen in the fridge you can have." My brother-in-law responded with "Putting the 'us' back in uterus."

David's little joke made me laugh at a time when I really needed some comedic relief. Other than their responses, I had radio silence. The next two days I had some people reach out to me regarding egg donation. Wanting to know the process  and when we would be wanting to do this. Without putting too much information out there at this time (because we have only just started the process and don't know if they would be a good candidate), we have a potential donor! This donor would need to have a full work up (should I not be pregnant this month) and then we would have to wait for the doctor to give a thumbs up that she is a good candidate. We then wait for a time when we have more money to pay for this (so if anyone has an extra 11 grand laying around that they don't need, I would be more than happy to take it off your hands).

I am still in disbelief that we have a potential donor. Someone that would be so selfless! My eyes well up with tears everyone I think about it. God is good, and I pray that should we need to go this route, the finances and everything else just fall into place.

Week in Review

I just wanted to write down a recap for my own record of what took place at the RE this week.
Monday: bloodwork and ultrasound. Got the green light for insemination.

Tuesday: bloodwork and ultrasound. First day of insemination. Dr. Spirtos mentioned that egg donation for IVF would probably be our best best for conceiving. Secretary called in the afternoon, come in for insemination again tomorrow as my LH levels were still rising.

Wednesday: bloodwork and ultrasound. Second day of insemination. Dr. Spirtos reiterated egg donation. His office called in the afternoon; he wants me to come back in the morning for more bloodwork and another ultrasound.

Thursday: bloodwork and ultrasound. Ovulation has been confirmed as my follie appeared swollen and misshapen compared to Wednesday. Checked bloodwork results in afternoon, ovulation had indeed taken place as my LH levels were decreased.

Now we wait. The rest is in God's hands. I know I should be praying fervently right now, but I am just exhausted. This is exactly when I should be relying on Him; instead all I want to do it sleep. Please pray for Scott and me over the next 10 days. I need peace in my soul and to feel united with my husband. This week has been hard on us, as it is once again a reminder that he is very logical in thinking while this old girl is the opposite...all emotionally reactive.

Aftermath

So last week when we went in for our follow up appointment with the RE, I was not expecting all the activity that followed. Not only am I emotionally tired and achy, but I am physically battered as well.

I have had 4 blood draws (but poked five times) from my antecubital veins, in 6 days. If some stranger approached me, they may think I have an IV drug problem.

Other parts hurt, too. Four internal ultrasounds and one HSG will make a girl a little crampy and achy. One internal ultrasound a year is bad enough. Throw in an insemination prior to the last ultrasound and that makes for one uncomfortable lady.

As much as I can barely tolerate the dreaded "two week wait", I welcome the freedom from needle sticks and ultrasounds. If this insemination doesn't work, I don't even want to think about the pain that is headed my way when we start IVF with my next cycle. However, if all of this leads to having a baby in my arms in the next 10 months, I will gladly take daily blood draws and ultrasounds!

The left arm is getting a nice bruise started from the digging that took place this morning.

The right arm isn't as bad as the left. It looked worse yesterday.

Be Aggressive, B-E Aggressive!

Yesterday morning I had to get to the RE office bright and early. The days agenda included a repeat blood draw and ultrasound. The doctor wanted to see my hormone levels to try to predict when I would release my big follicle. The ultrasound showed that the follicle had grown from something like 11x17 mm to 17x25 mm, which was fantastic. The smaller ones had grown, but nowhere near as big as the dominant one. That's okay because all it takes is one!

Yesterday afternoon I visited the chiropractor to work on my neck/shoulder tension. When he was finishing up, I asked him if there was anything he could do to incerase blood flow to my ovaries and uterus. He worked on a couple points and wished me luck.

The RE office called yesterday afternoon to inform me that the doctor wanted me to come in today for more blood work and another ultrasound. He also wanted me to bring in a specimen from Scott to do an insemination. This morning was our insemination. My follicle hadn't grown any from yesterday, but it still looked good. Scott had a good count. Now the rest is up to God.

I was a little disheartened when the doctor finished. Before he left the room, he said that I didn't have a lot of eggs showing up. That I may just want to start thinking about using an egg donor. He said that we could try to use injectable medications, but there was a good chance that I may not have a lot of follicles develop. That was a little bit of a downer, but I am going to just hope, pray, and be cautiously optimistic that this insemination will be plenty and will take.

In the six weeks we have been under this doctor's care, he has done more testing and investigating than the last RE did over a span of a couple years. I am praying that God lead me to his office for a reason and that my body was ready this week for a baby to be created. I am standing on faith that this is for a reason. God promises that he has a plan for us, plans for good. Doing my best to stand firm on His promise; yet trying to remember that if it doesn't happen, God has better plans for us. Even if it hurts right now and we are unclear about what those plans are.